Getting back in the saddle

It's an interesting thing that since, for all intents and purposes, I have pretty much finished putting together my collection that my creative drive seems to have been at a very low ebb. I don't think that it is just because of finishing the collection - although it always helps me to have goals and deadlines to work to. Unfortunately finishing the collection has coincided with the demise of my regular work shopping group as well - half of them have moved away, and the death of a very old friend.Consequently I have had had a couple of months of writing very little at all, which has felt very frustrating.

However I have just returned from a two week break on the Norfolk coast and I am now ready to get back in the writing saddle. Today I was poetry busking in Wymondham - it was the opening event of the Wymondham Words Literature Festival. There were about eight readers who took it in turns to read a poem - some of their own and some by other people. It was great to hear such a variety of poetry read out, and also to be given a surprisingly warm reception by the public who were going about their Saturday shopping. My next move is to find a new work shopping group, or recruit some new members for the existing one. I also want to make a definite space for writing in my house. i am thinking of reclaiming the tiny back room upstairs, and to set myself times for writing and stick to them.

Change and Upheaval

Once again I am finding the work/writing balance difficult to maintain. Upheaval and change in my working life seems to have a knock on effect on my writing, which is hardly surprising I suppose. I think the fact that some of my work is writing guest blog posts also has an impact - this week I have been using my creative muscle to write about online games rather than for writing and editing poetry. Of course I could just be making excuses - what I really need to do is finish writing my covering letter and send out my collection to publishers. I am hesitant though, when you have worked so long and hard on something, it can be quite a blow if it gets rejected.

On the plus side there have been some positive things happening - this week I ran a workshop called "How to love poetry" as one part of Writers' Centre Norwich's Summer Reads programme. I was very nervous - I had never tried this kind of workshop before, and I wasn't sure what kind of response to expect. It was a boiling hot day and I had massively over-prepared. I felt it went quite well, but I am my own worst critic so I came away just seeing all the things that I could have done better. Today, however, someone sent me a link to a blog post by one of the participants - her response was exactly the kind of thing I had hoped for - she is now wiling to give poetry another chance. I felt elated - what more could I ask for? You can read her blog post here.

Collections and Families

My collection is almost finished, I just have a little more work to do - a few small edits, plus a couple of poems to take out and a new sequence to insert. It feels very scary at this point. I have put in so much work - it will be hard if it gets rejected. I am being realistic about it of course. I know that not much new poetry gets published, and that for every new book a publisher takes on there will be dozens of equally good books that don't make it into print. Add to this the fact that Salt recently announced that they are no longer going to be publishing work by new poets and the chances of a book seem very slim indeed!

However, despite this, I keep on writing. I am currently working on a new sequence. The sequence features a kind of mythological family, but is set in modern times. The sequence revolves around the misogynistic father character who is called Sun Daddy. I have long been interested in the dynamics of families, the different types of family dysfunction, the ways that families handle (or don't handle) pain - the way they bury it, share it around, pass it on.

Family is of course as old as history itself, but the modern family is a much more recent construct. It is often disconnected from the wider family support networks that were relied on (for better or worse) in previous times. The modern family is often an insular, disconnected, and often alienated beast, without the safety net of the family network or organised religion to fall back on in times of hardship. We are an increasingly mobile society, so it is little surprise that the modern family unit is often located geographically far from parents, siblings, and home town. Given this lack of unconditional support it is hardly surprising that families make sometimes make up rituals, rules and coping mechanisms all of their own.

Walking the Line

Finding the work/writing balance is something that many writers have written about and for many of us it continues to be a struggle. It can be especially hard when your paid work uses up much of your creative energy. I am in just such a predicament at the moment; trying to balance copy writing, teaching and other freelance work alongside finishing my poetry collection and trying to generate new work. It's not easy I can tell you. At the moment paid work is winning the battle.  I know this has to change though - I am not happy when I am not working on my writing.

Journals etc.

Just looked at my last two blog posts and realised that I have failed hopelessly in my mission to post a fragment of writing every day. I have however been endeavouring to write morning pages, and I am managing to keep up a visual diary - although I am not managing to do it every single day.

This week I have been reading Claiming breath by Diane Glancy which is a book of prose poems written over the course of one year. During this year Glancy's mother dies and also her house is broken into several times. Although these are important themes in the book, the over riding theme is that of the writing process and the idea of self and identity - and ultimately how all these things fit together. It is a fascinating and inspiring book, moving between prose proper and more experimental poems where Glancy plays with the form and with language itself.

It made me think that I would like to keep some kind of poetic journal myself, and seeing as it is my birthday this weekend - that seems like an ideal time to start. I will keep the journal for myself - but I am hoping that something good - some poems, or some kind of personal insight might come out of it.

On other matters Anna De Vaul and I are editing the next issue of Lighthouse - something that I am looking forward to and feeling nervous about in equal measure.

Blind Pen Portrait

the mirror reflects a self
unrelated to the one
who parties on the inside

Resolutions and Bits of Poems

I am doing well with my new year's resolutions. I have sent some work out - not much - but some. I have been doing my morning pages most days and I have started a visual diary too. I started the visual diary for two reasons: 1) I miss making art, and 2) I want to see if it enhances my writing. More creative stuff has got to be good right? I have also been trying to put whole days aside to work on my poetry, although I think it would be useful if someone confiscated my broadband modem on those days!

Today I had the bright idea of writing a small poem about writing every day and posting it on my blog - well realistically it won't be every day, but a girl can try...

Here is today's effort:


Memory fragments -
the way smells can take you back
and fill your head with words.